致命的`大错 "Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.""Qualifications: No education or experience." "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." "My compensation should be at least equal to my age.""Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." "Fired because I fought for lower pay.""Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6''5" ." "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word ''paranoia.'' I prefer to elaborate privately." 打字错误与语法错误"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.""I am a rabid typist.""Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.""After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.""Accounting cleric." "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." "Suspected to graduate early next year.""Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.""Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."不应有的幽默 "Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.""Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) "But e''s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.""I have an Excellent track record, although I am not a horse." "My fortune cookie said, ''Your next interview will result in a job''-and I like your company in particular.""Title: Another resume from the ''Profiles in Excellence'' series.""Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, -it." "Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.""Let''s meet so you can ''ooh'' and ''ahh'' over my experience."
